We seem to cut across all racial, economic, ethnicity and gender boundries.

Gay people from the big cities are suprised that there is a gay community in Grand Forks, but there is. We even have a gay and lesbian dance once every other week.

I've been out for about five years. It's been quiet an interesting time. I remember telling my significant other (Brian) not to invite people from work to my birthday party because they would see that there was only one bedroom and they would know that I was gay. Now, I just recently completed sexual orientation as a workplace issue training at the Herald -- with all 160 employees.

For most people at work it's a non-issue, at least they clean up their language when I'm around. Which is actually okay by me. There's a saying in the diversity biz: "Sometimes it's okay if they just behave." It's odd though, I don't want my sexuality to be a major work issue, but I also don't want to be ignored either. I'm not just like everyone else. It's a hard balence to strike and I'd like to thank all the people who try!

I think the main reason I came out was because of Brian. He's the most important person in my life. If I were to remain in the closet, I would have to hide Brian. I would have to pretend we are just room mates or close friends. I know people who do this. They create a huge fantasy and keep building a ficticious world so no one will know that they are gay.

But in a short while I realized that you hide things that you are ashamd of. I could never be ashamed of Brian. I call him "the keeper of our love," because even though I'm older, he seems to be wiser. Brian understands love and committment on a more profound level than I do. I'm even caught off-guard sometimes by his insight.

It's as if he is a beautiful painting hanging on my wall. I walk by him every day and sometimes I don't see his beauty, I've come to depend on his integrity, his artistic glow, I depend on Brian to be there when I need him. But some days he catches my eye and I remember what I fell in love with five years ago. And I see something new. A bright spot, an insight, something I never noticed before. Could it have been there all this time? It makes me feel foolish to not have noticed. I wonder what he sees in me.